Wow I am blown away by the support that I've received since I posted my personal story about issues arising from the intersection of our broken healthcare system and our broken prison system. Thank you all.
     As a follow up to some of the comments people have made let me explain a few things: my concerns about jailing isn't so much about the arrest itself nor being held immediately upon arrest. I am concerned about any time I might serve if I am brought up on charges- for instance when I interrupted Obama's speech in protest which under the recently minted “trespass” law could carry 10 years. 10 years in a men's facility as a legal and medical woman would be hellish. I am a strictly peaceful protester who dissents to the way our country is being run for profit by mega corporations. Protest itself has been criminalized and it leaves me afraid as someone who exercises my constitutional rights that I will be imprisoned at some point.
     In terms of SRS (sexual reassignment surgery): the debate over the medical necessity of SRS is that it's “cosmetic” and thus unnecessary- that medically my organ works fine and thus there is no reason to perform the surgery. This is a weak at best argument- for instance do we tell people whose doctors say lap-band surgery is medically required that their stomachs work fine and thus refuse them? People complain that they shouldn't have to pay high insurance rates to cover peoples SRS- but SRS is relatively inexpensive compared to say cancer so that too seems flimsy. Now where things get really odd is that my healthcare team suggested that insurance (and I will have to check this with my insurance company) would cover just the removal surgery. Thus it is medically necessary to remove my genitals (which defeats their own earlier argument that the surgery is purly cosmetic) but not necessary medically to have genitals...? Lastly SRS is in fact medically necessary and here's why: DSM5 medically recognizes Gender Dysphoria (not identifying with your physical gender) as a mental disorder it does not however recognize being transgender as a being a mental disorder. Today I have a mental disorder however if I have SRS I will no longer have a mental disorder because I will no longer be at odds with my physical gender. SRS for me would cure a mental disorder.
     To those looking to help: I will be working on petitions to change the prison housing policy for the state of Massachusetts, and if there is anyone trying to do impact litigation for health insurance SRS coverage please contact me I believe my case would be compelling. If I am held in a gender inappropriate way please bombard MA correction and state government with calls, and protest if possible- certainly spread the word should that happen. As soon as the petitions exist I will post links to them. If you are interested in supporting the protesting I do check out massops.weebly.com. If I am held and cannot pay bail that's where a wepay might appear. Otherwise again I want to say thanks all of your comments and support has already helped. :)
     Lastly to those pointing out the many many other issues with our prison system: I wholeheartedly agree prison for profit which allows people to be held in deplorable conditions is a disgusting thing in its entirety. Prison rape is serious no matter the genders of the people involved and I certainly agree that the crime in prisons are abhorrent and should also be addressed. Have not yet been to prison tho I cannot speak with authority on these matters so when I published my story, or perhaps it should be called my story to date, I didn't include these things (bc happily they aren't part of my story yet- and hopefully ever). I published my story with the aim to open peoples eyes to what I'm going through and what the precedents are that allowing this might set. I also published my story because sharing it was a way for me to vent the pressure I'm under and hopefully do some good.
    be  well,
K

I think it's time I shared my back story because I hope it can help make a difference. Amanda Todd's suicide due to bullying was tragic and resonated with me enough that I felt telling my story might be useful to people in similar situations.

I was bullied and although it was pre-cyberage it was pervasive and followed me everywhere. I am a MtF (male to female) transgender woman out and proud now, but back in middle school I was just different. I'm sure you can all remember middle school, and likewise I’m sure you can remember that “different” in middle school is not what you want to be.

I was the new kid in fifth grade and there were already clicks. I had transferred into a school that ran a k-8th program, and immediately I landed in a bad situation. I angered a popular kid because his mom and mine had the same job... and that was all it took. That student waged a personal war against me, but he had all the ammo and allies, so I was quickly ostracized. To make matters worse the job that both our mothers had was “parent liaison” a position for the school system. My mom was at a different school, but his mother worked at the school we attended. The bullying went unpunished because his mother worked at the school.

When I say I was bullied and ostracized I mean I had no friends, and that I was beaten up pushed around and was twice stabbed (with pens) by other students, and all the while my complaints about these abuses fell on deaf ears at school. I spent from 5th-7th grade at this school and the entire time I was in hell. I remember getting in trouble for “yelling” (in pain) when I was stabbed in the back with a pen. As mentioned I'm MtF transgender so I was feminine which meant that the kids called me a “sissy” and (of course) a “fag” (a bit funny because I am gay, but it's because I like other women not men as they assumed).

I remember distinctly when I broke inside. I was standing near the door to my fifth grade classroom between two classes. The teacher had stepped out and the usual pack of bullies had formed to torment me. I was shoved a bit, and was doing what I could to ignore it, but the kid whose mom worked at the school picked that day to punch me in the face. I remember the relieve I felt because finally FINALLY the adults would see I wasn't lying about getting beaten up, and harassed. Over the kids shoulder as he went to punch me I saw the teacher turn the corner and enter the classroom. I was saved. I broke down crying in relief... but despite watching me get punched in the face for no reason the teacher just told me to sit down and be quiet. He wouldn't listen, and didn't care. Of course looking back as an adult I can see that of course my teachers all knew what was happening, but at the time I still had the childlike hope that the adults at my school would step in if on they realized what was happening.

I broke that day. The message was clear, and I internalized it. I was garbage, and not worth anything. It was okay to hit me and I probably deserved it. I was a freak. This went on for years. I tried to enlist my mom's help (my dad is a businessman and was constantly traveling), but her response was to blame me saying “bad thing happen because I had a bad attitude.” with no safe quarter, no love, and no support in my loneliness I grew to hate myself. I started drinking in middle school, and harming myself- because I preferred the physical pain to the mental.

Things got worse. In seventh grade- halfway through the year- I was transferred to a different English class... and after that I have fragmented memories of the remainder of the year. I've pieced together some things much of it second hand & I have some suspicions about the rest. I do remember being given detention every week by a teacher who did not like me for things like “the person behind me laughed so I must have done something” I remember that was the year I wasn't allowed to go on the class trip, but I don't (and never have been able to) remember much more. I was told later by my family that I had “turned gray” and was “unresponsive” which probably should have prompted some sort of action (well after that year they did switch schools but still). The teacher of that particular English class died in prison for his Pedophilic activities, and I suspect (mainly from the memory loss and general wreckage of my personality- and my subsequent reactions to touch, intimacy, men, and other triggers) that I may be suppressing things.

Eighth grade in my new school was better, but as I started to recover from all that trauma I continued drinking and was even getting drunk in school. I was also abusing ADD medication and I was very very angry, and filled with self loathing. The new school was better- I had friends and the teachers liked me. I dated a nice girl , and I did well in class, but I was still melting on the inside still broken, and miserable. I attempted suicide that year, and was dramatically foiled by my classmates. I continued to hurt myself, and I started to do other destructive things like starve myself. I dumped my girlfriend so I could go ahead and kill myself.

I cannot express to you the unlikelihood of your reading this because throughout the rest of school straight through college I didn't want to live. I am alive against all odds, and I cannot really explain why, but I am. I should have died too many times to count. I drank everyday more and more to deaden the pain. I hurt myself more and more until around graduation from college I looked at my options and realized I could either be hospitalized like my friend, I could kill myself, or I could get help. Thankfully I finally got help.

This is were I'm supposed to stand up and say “it gets better!” and in some ways it does, in others it won't and sometimes it can be worse. Life is complicated and GLBT folks start off with a disadvantage because we are the minority and we live in a culture that is struggling with how to cope with our lifestyles. Middle and High School tend to be difficult for folks who are different and some of us lose our childhood, and/or teen years to trauma. Those issues won't change, but you will. You will become an adult and at some point you will realize that no one can bully you anymore. As an adult you are the one who determines your life so you are not and will not be powerless again (and it's much harder to feel hopeless when you feel like you have the power over your life).

Somethings can get worse. In my case I was disowned and thrown out by my family. I was fired for being transgender (and at the time there was no legal protection for transgender) with no recourse. I am homeless at the moment in part due to the firing and in part because transition is incredibly expensive (& in part because my motor-home died which has no connection to bullying). And due to a doctors incompetence I was sterilized... It is still difficult. At the end of the day it is better- because I am not a victim of anyone or anything anymore.

I'm writing this as someone who has seen the wars and who has been to the brink and back. It is worth living- you may not have hope now, but at some point you will find the people/person/thing/hobby that makes your life worthwhile. I'm also writing this to parents and teachers, Parents please be there for you kids if they are being bullied because if you're not it will reenforce the negative messages they are receiving, and teachers please don't stand by quietly for any reason and watch a kid get bullied to death and never ever condone bullying. In the end I’m not angry at the other kids I'm furious with the adults who turned a blind eye (and in doing so encouraged) to my torment.

Lastly I know there are reasons to live because I've found them. I've got a wonder partner, an amazing best friend, music, writing, a passion for making the world better, and my Anonymous family